Flat Batteries At the Avenue Q Pool Party

Alan Jones, Julian Clary's rollerblade consultant, and co-organiser of Fright Fest's international horror festival (at the Empire from August 27-August 31. Horror film fanatics can buy tickets on line from FrightFest's website) escorted me to Avenue Q, which has just transferred from the Noël Coward Theatre to the
Gielgud after a run of four years.

The musical, produced by Cameron Mackintosh might have won a Tony Award, but why don't West End theatres have air conditioning? It was the hottest evening of the year, and the Gielgud's auditorium was a furnace: it was a preview of hell.

After the show which involved puppets (!), the publicist Greg Day saw Alan and I were melting and invited us to a 'Pool Party' in the Haymarket Hotel's basement which has an enormous swimming pool. I knew I should have worn my swimming costume.

At the bar, I bumped into Michael Birt, the celebrity photographer who reminded me we worked together in the past (he once photographed Fran Lebowitz at Brown's hotel when I interviewed her for Ritz).

I wept on his shoulder, not when I spotted a member of Girls Aloud at the party, but when I realised the batteries in my (Canon PowerShot A550 camera) had gone flat. Michael advised me to ask the hotel's concierge for new batteries, but unfortunately, he didn't have any.

What was more unfortunate, Michael was off duty for the evening, so he didn't have a camera on him, only his iPhone. I asked him to take a (paparrazi) shot of Eddie Izzard and he dutifully obliged.

Four stiff Cranberry juices later, I left the party.